Woman Sues Her Neighbor Over Smoking a Ciggie

Okay, maybe the neighbor was smoking more than just one ciggie. Maybe she was smoking several ciggies, maybe cartons of ciggies, maybe chain smoking those bad boys.

So what?

Well, evidently that could soon be cause for another courtroom brawl

It seems there's a lady in Dallas that is all ready to sue her neighbor, who lives in an adjoining townhouse, for smoking like a friggin freight train. She claims the smoke from her neighbor's townhome infiltrated her own apartment leaving her clothes, her artwork, her bath soap, and everything else in her home except the stainless steel appliances smelling like the atrium of Hell. It wouldn't go away. Her neighbor wouldn't go away. And, judging from the fact that she had recently signed a new lease, the lady bringing the suit wouldn't go away.

So now the case will end up in a courtroom. There's already been a temporary restraining order against the smoker, so that she had to move to another apartment or give up her Parliament Puffing habit.

Now, I'm sure smoking is bad for you. I'm sure it's bad for others. I've thrown more than one shirt in the laundry from cigarette smoke - both others and my own. I don't smoke on a regular basis, but I do believe if you want to - in your own home - you should be able to.

I am glad that this case is going to trial, however. I believe it will set a great precedent for some other cases I'm thinking about taking to court.

1. I want to sue the guy and girl that sell those little scented rocks at the mall - Every time I pass by that place they always putting the little scented rocks up to their little noses and then holding them out to me as if to say, "You, my friend, deserve a sample of my scented rocks." And yes, I know they are actually selling pieces of scented soaps from their little "Scented Spa" kiosk, but their abrasive sales tactics have me stinking mad. I'll see them in court.

2.Long John Silvers - The current Long John Silvers does not taste as good as it did when I was a kid. I used to love the tender, juicy chicken planks with lots of crunchies. Now if you get tender OR juicy, you're doing good. And the crunchies used to be as tall as the plate. You have to get a to-go box for just the crunchies. Now, no crunchies. Maybe one or two crunchies in the bottom of the tray, violated by grease and paper and malt vinegar. It's disgusting. That's right, Mr. Silver, I'm coming after you. And I hope you have a good lawyer. We can talk about it tonight when I'm there eating dinner.

3. People who throw butts out the window at a traffic light. Yes, I realize this is almost as trivial as suing the smoker next door, but these people, who can't hold that heavy little Marlboro butt until they get to a trash receptacle, really piss me off. Stop flinging helpless butts onto the ground to keep from smelling like smoke. You smell like smoke, by the way. We all know you smoke. These people need to go down in a blaze of courtroom finagling. I'm just the one to bring that suit to the court. So, unless you want to be a part of the class-action suit I'm playing, keep your butts in the car.



Okay, I hope this suit goes all the way to the highest court in the land, which I can only assume is at Rush Limbaugh's house, but I could be wrong. I need this case to move forward quickly, because I could really use the cash.