Friday, March 08, 2013

Taking a Look Back at 2012 ... Finally

The Year of 2012 was packed full of fun times, interesting news stories, technological advances and, unfortunately, more reality television. 

It all started in February. Actually the year — technically — started in January but nothing ever happens in January. It's boring and cold and grey and just plain weird. In the calendar, January is that weird uncle that keeps showing up uninvited at family reunions and everybody avoids eye contact with. The NFL used to feature its premier game the Super Bowl in January, but even the executives of the National Football League felt like January was not appropriate enough for the big game. 

But February was very exciting. While February is still cold and sometimes grey, the 2012 version was a fascinating mix of holidays (Valentines Day, Presidents Day and I Have Six Toes Awareness Day), the Super Bowl and presidential politics. 

During the early months of the year, the presidential primaries were in full swing. The front runner early on was a guy named Newt Gingrich. Newt (from the Latin, Limosa Politicus, meaning Slimy Poltician) spent a great deal of time on the campaign trail calling Mitt Romney (from the Latin, (see above)) names, and telling the good folks in Florida that a colony on the moon was all but a done deal if he were elected president. Unfortunately, Americans did not want a Moonsville, and voters promptly turned their attention to a much more qualified candidate. 

But before the attention turned fully to the more qualified candidate, Texas Governor Rick Perry threw his name into the hat for the presidency. Perry said that the federal government needed fixing and he was the man to do it. Some of his plans included IRS Tax forms filled out on the back of Post-It Notes and eliminating three federal agencies: Department of Education, Environmental Protection Agency and Department of Baking and Roasting or something or other.

In all it was an exciting political season. 

Then the summer came and all Americans turned their eyes toward that event so big that it could only be held every four years: The Mayan Apocalypse. 

According to scholars, the Mayan calendar abruptly ended on December 21, 2012, which meant the world was about to end. While experts disagreed on just how the world would exit stage right, Americans around the world began prepping by storing food, making Bucket Lists and maxing out credit cards. (I would like to personally apologize to Visa for that extremely large purchase of "Hostess Baked Goods." As my grandfather always says, "I would rather owe ya' than beat you out of it"). 

The Olympics were also held this summer in London, England. They came off without a hitch, much to the dismay of Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. 

The United States pretty much dominated the Olympic games in medal counts, especially in events like swimming, track and field, and reality television. China finished a close second, dominating events like ping pong, gymnastics, and shoe making.

Early in the fall a medical journal contained a report saying that coffee was found to be bad for you. According to the report, a person consuming more than two cups of coffee per day was 60 percent more likely to contract athlete's foot. A severe latte addiction can also cause a sudden drop in one's bank account. 

November brought us the Election Day. It was quite a relief to most Americans and much of the world when the campaign season was finally over for three days before the start of the 2016 presidential campaign. 
President Barack Obama was re-elected for his second term, narrowly defeating Republican candidate Mitt Romney. Exit polls showed that many voters were upset with Romney and Republicans in general because of several verbal missteps like mistakenly calling 47 percent of the population "a bunch of babies who won't vote for me anyway." Which is actually true. A large portion of Americans are under the age of 18. 

Some other notable news items from 2012 are: moderate amounts of coffee heals maladies like athlete's foot, Prince Harry and Kate are going to have a baby, Jersey Shore is calling it quits and the Mayans ate up the remaining cache of Twinkies. 

I hope you have found blessings this past year and I wish you a prosperous, peaceful and happy 2013. Also, if you have any Twinkies stored up for the Apocalypse, let's meet for coffee and share a box. 

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